we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
