super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So vagazzling was a success
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
