Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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