He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
