Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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