it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
