well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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