so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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