I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
