Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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