Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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