Already got asked if we're dating
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
