things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
