yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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