AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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