We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
