He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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