All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You left your underwear on the fireplace
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
