I wish I could punch you in the face.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
