You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
