I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
