Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize