hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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