Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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