awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
