you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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