if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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