her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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