remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
