He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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