He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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