Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
