gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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