You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
