Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
