dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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