i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
