I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
