Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize