my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
