Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
