She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
