I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
you never un-have a 4some
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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