hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
