he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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