I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
