I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
