After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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