so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You did what with his pubic hair?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
