Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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