I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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