i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
