he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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