I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
