From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Boobs are out for the taking
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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