youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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