he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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