I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
