there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
