Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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