I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
