Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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