Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
