just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
