Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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