Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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