Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
